Hello 2017

8 01 2017

My first week of 2017 yielded a total of 23.62 miles.

I am also starting the year just a few pounds off the heaviest weight I have ever been: 206lbs

I am very annoyed and unhappy with that. The lack of true aerobic walking has contributed to the gain, as has an excessive intake of Christmas (mainly English) snacks, chocolate and spreads etc.

Etc….

My gain can also possible be attributed to my decision to taper off – then quit – buspar, the anxiety medication I started taking over 15 months ago to suitably calm me when things were getting on top of me. I don’t feel much different without it, however I did learn (after the event, naturally) that buspar helps fend off the weight-gain aspects of Zoloft/sertraline, my primary ‘anxiety/depression’ medication.

With a determination to get to my 60th birthday – in 12 months time – on as few drugs as possible, I have now also started tapering – much more slowly – off of the Zoloft. My doseage is not particularly high (100mg) but all my research online says I should taper as gradually as possible so as to not suffer (reported as horrible) side effects from the withdrawal. So, for January I have taken myself down to 75mg to see if there is any adverse effects. So far – 8 days in – none whatsoever.

Obviously my weight is of concern. My blood work, BP and blood sugar readings have all been fine, as have my cholesterol stats and related things that doctors worry about. But, I know I am too heavy. I feel too heavy and I look too heavy. So – and without this being presumed as a “New Years Resolution” – I am starting to make a conscious effort to “do better”; to snack less, eat more sensibly/sparingly, cut down on sugars and wasted calories and limit my daily drinking habit.

I’m well aware it won’t be easy; in fact I know it’s going to be tough. I’m going to try and pair this effort with a return to the gym. We have one 9 floors below us in our building, it’s not extensive but it features most of the machinery and items I need to try and get fitter. I did not use it one single time in 2016. Bonkers.

Maybe I can return this blog to its original notion; that of tracking my weight. Instead, I have been using it for possibly too long to merely highlight my weekly walking achievements. I’ll still list those, but less regularly, and try to concentrate more on a return to “fitness”. I have a limitation with regards to my right foot – yes, still – so maybe I can also discover what is causing that issue to help get me back to feeling more ‘normal’. Maybe I just need to work out the foot a bit more?… anyway I’ll discuss it in future posts.

I DO feel that the miserable/anxious/depressed/permanently stressed version of me is now history. I’m astonished at some of the things I’ve written since my Dad passed in 2014 and how I have allowed anxiety/stress to control me so much and make me think there was “this wrong with me” or “that wrong with me”.  I feel CONSIDERABLY more relaxed and laid-back than I used to be. I stress-out far less and I’ve almost taught myself that there is no point in allowing fraught situations to “wig” me out like they used to. Like everyone else I have day-to-day issues that frustrate me and irritate me but I seem to approach more of them with far more calmness than I ever used to.

I have things that are important to me; my wife, our kitty, our home, the building we live in (that, as a board member, I feel responsible for), our standard of living, and especially my dear DEAR friends (both side of the Atlantic). I have allowed certain friendships to fade a little bit in recent months but it is my intention to revive them fully… as without those friendships there is no way I would have got through the period of 2012-2016. No exaggeration. I am humbly grateful to anyone who did ANY LITTLE THING to bolster my confidence, offer assistance, be a shoulder to lean on or an ear to listen.

Anyway… 2017… you’re here. You could represent a time of great upheaval across the planet. It’s my intention to try and use you to MY advantage rather than you taking advantage of me… as previous years have managed to do.

One final thought: Fuck Donald Trump and everything he stands for.

Week 1: 23.62 miles

Year to date: 23.62 miles

Target for year: 1000 miles, currently 976.38 shy

Number of marathon-minimum distance weeks in 2017: 0

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